Burn On

It's the head-bobbin' beats that spits heat and speaks

To the fiends and creeps to get back on their feet (*Don't Retreat!)

Add the fuel to the fire

so the Fools and the Liars

learn to use and admire

the Tools to Inspire

stay True and Inquire

Be a fool and a squire,

a Man and Fighta

for what's right and lifts you higha!

Sing from your heart, never let that lighta expiyaaaaa!!!

Do You Do You?

Do you do you I do I do
Do you do you I do
Do you do you I do I do
Do you do you I do...

Do you do you? Do you whistle your own tune
Eat from the hand that feeds or use your own spoon?
Turn the other cheek put your tail between your legs?
Earn another check wake up and go to bed?

Did you want to be a lawyer, president or a doctor?
Be a priest, be at peace, sign a lease, be a rocker?
A beast at soccer, a midnight walker,
Text-message talker or a facebook stalker?

You ever downplay others saying “I could do that!”
Yah look around for approval or a pat on the back?
Don’t appease, take the lead, never cease to believe
that your creed and your needs are the keys to your dreams

Look around, this is you man, you made this life
No one pointed a gun no one held this knife
No one told you to run, made you marry this wife
But your looking to your God praying isn’t this right?

Feel your gut is it heavy?, are your intentions true?
What are the deep down drivers that invented you?
Is it money? Is it love? Is it power? Is it drugs?
Is it right? Is it Wrong? Only you can be the judge

Cuz my message is hear and my message is clear
The biggest sin of life is to live in fear
The saddest song I’ve heard is the one never sung
You can never play your own tune if your guitar’s never strung

So you do you and I’ll do me
You’re the captain of your cruise, the fearless leader of your fleet
Smiles exude with a new attitude, when the things you do are you...

Big Business and Competition...convo with Ben Stewart (Kymatica and Esoterica Agenda)

Hey Ben, I've been a strong supporter of esoteric agenda and Kymatica since I laid eyes on them. Zeitgeist and Down the Rabbit Hole sparked a renaissance of the idea and journey of self-actualization that I had bits and pieces of through amazing teachers and individuals who I had encountered since middle school. Needless to say, after college I joined the ranks of 9-5ers in the corporate america playground of structure, regulation, operational efficiency, productivity, top line growth, and CEO's "saving the company and it's stockholders" by taking "necessary measures" to fire people. Now, I came into this job knowing this, didnt know just HOW ugly it was, but the main purpose was to see the dark side of the beast. I did not want to be a hipocrate in the sense that I chastised the idea of big business, yet never saw it from the inside. Planning my indefinite trip to S.America, had enough of the Corporate, consumerism, capitalistic nature of America, and ready for my personal life sebaticle....Enough of me though, I had a few questions I have been pondering and wanted to see what you thought about it: 1) Can big business ever be "good" (good in the sense that you are doing "right" for humanity, adding value to the universe). 2) Is not competition good for society in some sense? The idea of varying products, not having a monopoly on one industry, incapacitating an individual or group to have complete control over the masses. Competition could be in the sense of not having a groupthink mentality, so in that sense competition or varying views (products) are healthy. But I feel that ego's get in the way and human nature messes things up...throw money in there and the equation spins out of control...just wanted to get your viewpoint, if you have time I'd love to hear what you have to say! Keep injecting positive thoughts and putting ideas/facts on the table for people to interpret....love it. Looking forward to following your Hanging Man project, great stuff.

BEN Response:

Tim, thank you for your well thought out email. First question, can big business ever be good? Well absolutely. Anything is possible. The problem with big business now is the general collective cultural canon of the people. It is a belief that the more you have, the more secure you will be in the future. And deep deep within all of us, we feel insecure and need to externalize that void in the form of material gain and profit. The problem is not Big Business, it's the reason why we have Big Business to begin with. This leads to your next question. Isn't competition good in some sense. Absolutely. But I always look at it this way. Competition to the Romans and Greeks actually meant to strive along side our brothers and sisters to a common good. Today it means, to strive for an upper hand above and beyond our brothers and sisters which will create status and power giving us further security because we then have something that other people want and need. So we can use it as a bargaining chip.
Competition today is based out of fear and defense (the somatic) rather than growth and development (the viscera). It's very simple once you consider the inner motive and will of the people who make up big business. Not all business owners are malicious. In fact very few are. It's the deep seeded fear within them that makes them feel as if the HAVE to be deceitful and dishonest and ruthless in order to stay alive. It's a typical defense mechanism.
Again thank you for your question. Hope my answers made sense and helped a bit.

Braindump while listening to Everyday by Carly Comando

Lessons learned along the road, feel the minor chords that just seep through your veines, makes you tingle and pulls you up…upp..which way is up? Am I getting further away, or closer to a goal? Getting further away from what I am, what Ive been, moving on, moving up, moving….What if I remain? What happened to the “if it aint broke don’t fix it?” That always helped me through life…the simple way of looking at things…try telling that to Corp America…Six Sigma, Do you have your green belt? “Kaizen”…constant and never ending improvement, so the Japanese say…that rings a bell though. So what is different from finding efficiencies, process optimization, implementing technology to cut operational cost…operational cost = labor = less people who need to be hired or people who can be fired. We try to justify by saying hey put in a self-checkout, take 4 employees off of the register and “redeploy” the labor. Redeploy…to….where? These execs see the value in cutting labor hours and cutting jobs…The ship must sail on they say! At the consequence of who? I must “protect” my stockholders stake, must do what needs to be done….stockholders stake? How bout your ass and your stock options? What happened to old mom and pops stores, having conversation with little Johnny when he comes to buy some butter for mom’s biscuits shes cooking up, catching up on old times, and new ones! But people have become time-starved…know what they want, when they want it, and would rather talk to a machine, then to Betty the Cashier. So now who do you blame? The ends justifies the means, and in this case, companies are catering to people’s wants and needs. Cant blame em…but you can. So now we see the problem, how do we change the masses…how do we tell everyone to slow down? Is it a movie, a song, a world war, a FightCLub-esque ending that will yield..a beginning? Back to the CEO (cant you see this is buggin me?) who have gained ohh such a popular acclaim recently, If not driven for the money , it must be to save face, pride….the power..the gold plated CEO on your grand ol’ oak desk, money is power…that needed power that is craved so much is emitted from the Ego..what are others going to think of me? What good am I CREATING with this so called power and will to influence others. I am higher on the totem poll than you…get me my coffee… “it’s a sign of respect, I had to do it to get where I am today”…respect? Like the respect a frat brother will give to his pledge by making him eat shit, punched in the face, dehumanized for the sake of other “more privilidged” brothers? I was in a frat, Ive seen shit go down…so respect…how is it gained? Does one have to follow in their predecessors footsteps in order to be held in the same limelight? Respect is earned…by hard work, by treating OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED…to prove something? Proving something to yourself is one thing, but proving something for the sake of acceptance for another…is weaksauce.

Rant - in Response/ in question to "I Get It"

I get that I might never quite get it. The purpose of life is to come to grips that nothing can be taken at face value, to question everything, to formulate your own hypothesis, not to rate it against others, but to allow different viewpoints to open up your mind, to further refine your code. The best part of this thinking, is that you are never wrong, and there is no one right way, rather your morals, your thoughts, your outlook on life is supposed to grow with you, with each experience, hence the idea of reaching enlightenment, to use reasoning to finally understand why things are the way they are. to listen harder than you speak, However, once you reach that point, say you understood every “big question”, then what? I don’t think you ever can or do…and those you do not open their mind and heart to varying ideals are stagnant, there is no longer an opportunity for holistic growth. You can explore every inch of that island and understand why the animals act the way they do, the varying tides, and never work a day in your life…but what about the other islands/landmasses? You only understand one wing of the political party, but have no idea about the others..you get what it means to be a democrat or a republican, but if you only know one, you don’t understand POLITICS. And isn’t the purpose of politics (democracy) to make decisions for the betterment of the majority of the masses? But what about the minority? Then I feel as though you cannot impose laws on people, to make them do things they might not want to or believe in, again, what makes these “laws” “right?” So if you don’t like the laws of your present country, leave, stop bitching. But is that giving up? Is the right thing to do to join politics, make a “change”, is change even possible if the majority of American’s are worried about how does this affect me instead of how does this affect my community, my brothers, the betterment of the underprivileged. Is it fair that the top3% of Americans will be getting taxed 60-70% of their income to help support the rest of the country? But again, laws, rules, and politics work together in order to prevent chaos, to protect individuals from being hurt, taken advantage of, and from being stripped of their natural rights…but what happens when my pursuit of happiness, impedes on your pursuit of happiness? Who yields? Ahhh the search for balance, the ying and yang, alpha/omega, light and dark…you need one just as you need the other…and the convergence of the two, the grey area is what we must basque in. but is being the middle, just being average? Average sounds derogatory…just …average, that is what I am striving for? Or is that my ego telling my average sounds, well, average? “Why does everything have to be so white or black with you?” Little did my mother know this is here that conversation would lead. So you might ask...if there is no “right” how can we ever make a decision…are you never going to have a stance in life? Never believe in anything? No I am not saying that, I am saying be conscious of opposing viewpoints, have some humility, and question the missing stanzas in your book of life, rather than trying to shoot down your brother’s. The purpose of life is to better understand yourself, be aware, the more you see/the more you experience, the more ideals and mindsets you have to pick and choose from. Accessorize your life…that reminds me, some chastise others for switching religions, why are there hundreds of Christian sects? I feel as thought everyone should have their own religion..down with organized religion...I feel organized religion can be looked at as the lazy way out…why do you go to church? Because my parents did….uhhh what? I like religion in the fact that it provides a framework for others to live a good life by…and that’s ausome, but DON’T TAKE IT LITERALLY! So here we start seeing where absolute truths hail from…universal law... But what happens if you are totally content with your life, want to be the CEO of a company, do business morally…are you doing it for your ego or because you genuinely love work…is that bad? What would happen if there weren’t producers…competition, mcdonalds cashier….basketball players, if this truly makes you happy, that’s fine right? But then you must just strive to be a better person, does everyone have to go out of their way to help others? Is it “bad” if I like to get a limo to cruise downtown and spend 15 dollars on a jagerbomb? Purpse…then the pursose of life..is to have a purpose? You cannot strike down those who do enjoy money, thrive in the capitalistic nature of the US, this is what they are taught, what they know (or think they do). Believe what you want, as long as you do not follow that thought blindly. What about the blue collar farmer, who has no tv, no nice car, no nights out on the town…and is happy as can be? His purpose to work his farm, his land, his lifesource the best he can…and as long as the crops keep coming, he is content…or is he? If everyone constantly quit their job every year, to keep searching for the switch to turn on their lifelight, the economy would fail, there wouldn’t be professionals (doctors/lawyers)…and these are the wheels that keep our perceived daily lives on track. And what about those who want to be a lawyer, love law, be the best lawyer they can be, what if they are defendants for mass murderers…yes everyone deserves a chance, but is this person “doing good”? Shouldn’t one be allowed to have two houses, send their kids to private school, and drive a nice car? Is that being pigheaded or ignorant? Provide for their family and give them the “best” life possible? A doctor is just as important as a trash man, as long as you are happy with what you are doing. Is the farmer living “better” than the lawyer? To whose standards? What is a standard? Whose standard is better? Whichever one the common majority “tells” us is better? I don’t get it…but I get it.

Rant - June something 2008 - No edits, changes, just brain dumping

"Write what you think don’t let our brain get full. No wasitn space we need to empty and refill often." Mrs. Burroughs

“Let me start from the beginning”….quite the cliché way to begin to tell the story of a long journey, an intrinsic introspection of the soul, a string of events that conclude in an epiphany of self-actualization….This is the way that I envisioned the quote-un-quote next chapter of my life to start with. One trip to the hospital the day before graduation for internal bleeding (thanks to my stellar 2nd place performance in the senior bar crawl), three moves within 2 months between states, and a 9-5 corporate middle-class American job later….I’m wondering what happened to the wunderkind.

I tend to start my train of thought at “Let me start from the end.” I like to think I can fastforward my present self 50 years into the future, in my present position, look around, and use some sort of twisted cost-benefit analysis to judge if I will be happy with what I am doing…50 years later. Obviously, this makes no sense.

I like my job. What is like? I like money. Why? I like to be happy. There we go, now we are getting somewhere. What makes me happy? What others perceive happiness to be. How do I discover what makes me happy? I do not like to work hard…by why is that? When was the last time you worked hard? Finance? Nooo just worked hard enough to get by and to understand what couldn’t be copied. To get a summer job, to switch into business school, to get this job? No I think I took this job in vain…everyone says that I can talk to anyone…well I cant, not everyone, it doesn’t feel right. Ive always said I can only argue (speak passionately/convincingly) about things that I care about. I suppose that can apply to my work ethic as well. Well why do I care about this job…I think it might be because of the initial glamour that it provided me…amongst peers, family…I got a job, do you? Didn’t think so…im looking to the future…didn’t look too far. Why does my mind keep trailing off midconversation…im analyzing, thinking about thinking….im not in my comfort zone. I don’t like pressure, I love change, being the new guy, low expectations, am I hiding something? I mimic others to fit in, but then use my charisma to make them look up to me…that’s fucked up. Ive changed…I once thought screwing the other guy to get ahead was ok…nature of the beast. I loved capitalism, free markets, and working to get yours….that gets lonely, and I feel parched. I want to help people…I say that, but do I? When was the last time I really did? I think its because I was so caught up in myself, my money, my selling weed, my pussy, that I didn’t have a “need” to worry about others. I think I even contemplated once that I could maybe live without my parents…ouch just typing that erks me…what an asshole I am/was. Well lets put it out there, Tim…moves to Germany, goes to backpack for 3 months, trades in his car, jumping from hostel to hostel….then what? Is it going to be worth giving up an ausome job that I could potentially excel at and be good at? Or will I get caught up in the cycle of corp. America, downplay the idea of living idealogical, and follow the road…to retirement. I know where that road leads and I have a pretty good idea about what I might encounter along the way. Jokerwild….wow that’s comical huh. I claim that I do everything a little different than the norm, never take anything at face value, and would be doing something amazing/unique with my life….like packing a brown bag, carpooling, and acting like I care about peoples college football games for the big Monday testosterone back to work talk. But you know what, I have a lease for a year….I am in a great position to learn business to business practices, sales cycles, the gift of the tongue. One year…I will be 23 and a half, I got a long way to go until this lease is up…I think the best thing to do is to work hard in the job now, try some volunteer work..who knows I might hate it. But lets try to start giving back, helping others…if I don’t know what I want to do then maybe I could at least help someone else find out. My purpose is to help others find their purpose…who am I? I don’t want to do too much cyclic thinking, but daym life is too short, give it your all, that’s all that can be asked of you.

"Get It"

I see and dreamweave scenes that are provactive
Stare with a clever glare that remains ominous
Talken straight while im rappin,
I hear the universe clappin,
Look out the corner of my eye,
feel the peripheral passion
that engulfs those who are humble,
let your guard down and stumble,
say Goodmorning to strangers,
Like the host Bryant Gumble

I've got the gift of sight, my ego? I met it,
Constant battle with the truth, dont know it, but I "Get It"
I get that life's a journey, full of symbols and rhetoric
You have nice fancy quotes on your status, why arent you livin it?
Feel the energy, feel the vibe, be aware,
Scratch that itch that's been nagging,
telling you see what's out there...

You just like me too much

why dont I like you if you like me too much
Im too independant I dont need a crutch
It's just my luck that I met you one night
But It just kinda sucks that you seem too nice

Bad Boys Bad girls it's the thrill thats fun
Its the chase, the tug the pull, the feeling that you won
I need some space, stop callin, baby dont you understand
Plant a seed, than leave, thats how you get your man

The Choo-Choo Blues (hahahaha)

Hey it’s a game of whose got the best stories,
Choochoo run a train, butts, guts, and glory
But what you gonna do when shes callin you sayin,
Choo-Choo bitch Im pregnant, which one of you is payin?
I got the choo-choo bluues....

Hey whattup girl look at us with our smooth swag stance
Check out my white boy dance, seven pants gotchu hypnotized in a trance
You got no chance..
Me and my boys aint putin up a front,
at first glance
we're fucking yo cunt while we're smokin blunts,
Hey we scored with a whore,
I'll do my touchdown stunt…bitch now you leave, and we're ready to punt..

I never stop to think about the returning team,
Bitches stuck on me, like a teenage wetdream
The more she wanted the more she flaunted,
The more we were scared that her pussy was haunted.

Hey it’s a game of whose got the best stories,
Choochoo run a train, butts, guts, and glory
But what you gonna do when shes callin you sayin,
Choo-Choo bitch Im pregnant, which one of you is payin?
Ive got the choo choo blues....

Ahh daym well I know she never wrapped up a cock
What should we do?
Flip a coin, or paper scissor rock?
Bitch its rock paper scissor and its best out of three
How the fuck we gonna do this?
Beats the shit out of me!
Dude this sucks shes prego our situation really blows
What sucks even more bitch is you lost “nose goes”
Nah scratch that, pass around the pen get close to ten,
The furthest one away gets the money to send….

Hey it’s a game of whose got the best stories,
Choochoo run a train, butts, guts, and glory
But what you gonna do when shes callin you sayin,
Choo-Choo bitch Im pregnant, which one of you is payin?

Ive got a better plan lets punch her in the tummy
We’ll invite her over for some action-packed rummy
Wow dude that’s fucked up, I cant believe you said it,
Lets call her again and make sure that she meant it….

Wuttup girl this is the semen express,
We’re callin to make sure that we’re still in this mess
HAHHA choochoo boys I was playin with you it was a test
Wasn’t it weird that I had some scars on my breast?
You guessed it, their fake, and so was my vag,
That’s right you fucked a dude, now don’t you feel like a fag?

Hey it’s a game of whose got the best stories,
Choochoo run a train, butts, guts, and glory
But what you gonna do when she ends up tellin you
I hope your happy that you put it hard to a dude.....
I got the choo-choo blues

"Work" The next step

........

Man I cant wait for the date I just travel
feel the mud from the street on my feet, fuck gravel
I kept trying to ride couldnt get my saddle on,
Kept drifting in circles, till I saw I was paddlin' wrong
I just babble...on to Babylon and grab a bong

too sad a song, I havent been living this life all along
But I have, I dont mean to lead you on, had to give this job a try trust the times not gone
or wasted, the hint of corporate life that I tasted, wont fake it..felt good with the money I raked in...

But the first round of layoffs was I had to see,
had to say sianorah to my mentor Bruce B,
"Business is Business" it what they said to me,
Fuck that, Konnichiwa bitches, im out, time to leave
I'm sick of the monotony....
and needing an oil change,
Fuck it, im off to Thailand and eating boiled brains
I want to live off the land, grow food, maintain rain
See every continent, every single mountain range

Need an outline, starting point, a destination
A thesis statement, a purpose, a proclamation
Bon voyage, bid the well, my flights im a bookin
cant find the key to life but shit at least I'm lookin....

"Work"

Webster says it's a means of earning my livelihood
I say it's a time to get paid and practice rhymin good
Steal from the man is my plan take a stand
dont understand why gettin rid of good men aint contraband

Dont knock it till you try it is the train I rode in on
The fickle fallacy of "hard works pays off" is all wrong
Make your number, keep your head down, and never stop workin
what happened to havin purpose, helpin others and soul searchin?

No time for that, cut costs, cut labor, no favor
welcome to the family! and please sign this waiver,
So I can lay you off when the time is right later
at least you got a 401k when you meet your maker

Well it's almost time for lunch, pretty pumped, I'll take a cuple hours
Take a piss wash my hand look up and see a cuple cowards
I smile though cuz I know I wont be here for long
It's time to get back to work and scribble down another song